i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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