genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
True college students do jello shots in the library
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize