So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
