you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
