You're earring is so big in my mouth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
