ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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