Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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