I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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