areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
