I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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