well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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