maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
