i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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