was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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