I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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