God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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