i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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