my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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