I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize