The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize