Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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