Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
