do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Be still, my beating vagina.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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