No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
