end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
