every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
