The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You did what with his pubic hair?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
