Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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