You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
