before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
