Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I need moral support for this bender
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
