Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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