now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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