There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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