dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the condom got lost in my hair
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
