So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
