I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
