Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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