white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
