ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
