the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize