I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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