I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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