I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
