i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
