I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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