He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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