I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
