She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
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This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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