I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i believe in u and ur pee
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
