is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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