Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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