is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
