We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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