Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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