I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
