i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize