I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
