I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
