Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
