At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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