highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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