he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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