I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
