I am puke
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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