We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
