i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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