your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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