so explain again why im purple
no
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
