We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I want a musical about memes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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